Celebrate Recovery @ Burbank SDA Church

Experience, Strength, and Hope

2012-02-08T15:43:00.000-08:00

In case you haven't been coming to our Friday night meetings, I'll report the latest -- we are working the steps together! We are just finishing up Step One, so if you'd like to join us -- as always -- you are more than welcome. We love newcomers.

While talking to God about our group, I was inspired that we would be able to experience deeper recovery and more spiritual growth by working the steps. It's been a challenge with Jan away temporarily; however, Jesus shows up at every meeting. I expect miracles to happen every Friday and I haven't once been disappointed.

As you may know, we alternate between a teaching and a testimony every Friday night. Last week we had a teaching, so this week we are due for a testimony. I'm writing about this because this Friday night, I will be sharing my experience, strength, and hope in my testimony and after 14 years of sobriety, I'm nervous.

I'm praying that God will tell me what to say that will be meaningful and reflect His saving grace and amazing love. Because the Holy Spirit is making my heart ready, I'm willing to disclose whatever He wants. I'm an open book. Let's be clear: there are some tales I'd prefer not to tell, but with God's help I'll tell those if He wants.

We have a saying in CR: God never wastes a hurt. If my pain and the pain I've caused others through my carelessness and selfishness can help someone see that there is hope, there is a solution, God is real and He loves people like us; well, then it's worth the telling.

Thank you for letting me share.

I am one of the lucky ones.

2011-12-15T09:37:00.000-08:00

We humans seem to be in love with the idea of luck. If something good happens, we are lucky. If something bad, we are unlucky. We carry good luck pieces and shy away from walking under ladders and breaking mirrors.

Truth be told, I don't believe in luck. But, if I did, I could say that I am one of the lucky ones. "How so?" you ask. Well, let me tell you.

Because I was a slave to my "addictive personality" and plagued by various and sundry emotional ailments, I found alcohol and drugs, and made a career out of being under the influence.

Because I was a practicing alcoholic and addict, God mercifully brought me to the rooms of recovery.

Because God brought me to the rooms of recovery, I stayed.

Because I stayed, I worked the 12 steps.

Because I worked the 12 steps, I learned how to live.

You see now, don't you? Without the steps and working my recovery program, I wouldn't know how to live. My life still wouldn't work and I would still be broken.

Because of God's love and Jesus' bloody death, I get to have a life way beyond my wildest drunken dreams.

These thoughts occured to me yesterday when I was listening to a couple of professional therapists who happen to be Christians talking to other Christians about the philosophies they had uncovered in scripture. The were discussing how to revive relationships through apologizing and offering to make restitution. The host of the radio show, a Christian, was so impressed by the approach suggested -- he admitted he had never been instructed about how to apologize and how to make wrongs right in relationships God's way.

I recognized the approach right away as the eighth and ninth steps of Celebrate Recovery:

Step 8: I made a list of all persons I had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
Do to others as you would have them do to you. (Luke 6:31 NIV)

Step 9: I made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. (Matt 5:23-24 NIV)

Thank You, God, for the blessings of Your mercy and Your word. Thank You for changing the course of my life from grave-bound to eternal life, starting now.

It's not me

2011-11-14T18:00:00.000-08:00

This morning I did my gratitude list a little differently.

I used to close bars, now I close the church after our Friday night meetings.
I used to go wherever the party was, now I am willing to go wherever I can be of service.
I used to find excuses to miss work, now I find ways to show up even when I'm sick.
I used to hide from my responsibilities, today I face them with God's help.
I used to pretend I was better than I really am, now I freely admit that all glory and honor belong to God.

I'm grateful that God's work in me has been paying off beyond my wildest drunken fantasies. Thank You, Jesus.

P R A I S E (What to do with your head while the world is shaking)

2011-10-29T06:22:00.000-07:00

This very early morning I am full of praise for God's kindness in answering our prayers. I brought my husband home from the hospital yesterday three days after surgery. I will shy away from discussing the details of his medical condition and focus on my experience, strength and hope through the ordeal.

Denial came first for me. When Greg told me he was scheduled for surgery, it was a few weeks in advance, so I had plenty of time to pretend it wasn't going to happen. I wishfully thought that maybe something miraculous would happen so he wouldn't need the surgery and we could just keep living the way we had been -- obsessed with the details of mundane daily living.

No miracle came in time to disrupt the surgery schedule so I made arrangements to do my part in supporting Greg through this procedure. Everywhere I turned -- work, friends, family -- I encountered support and the promise of prayers on Greg's behalf. (Thanks Dad, LaRonda, Troy and Jan for visiting Greg in the hospital. It means more than you can possibly know.)

Throughout the night before surgery and the morning of terror set in. But because I've been carrying around the advice of my good friend and Pastor Jan Kaatz, I knew what to do: praise God. In a sermon some months or years ago, Jan advised the listeners to praise God when we are scared, when things go wrong and when we are feeling out of control. I've been practicing praising God during difficulties ever since. I've got to admit that praise when I'm terrified is a lot different than praising God in church with all the lights on. It's not like whistling through a graveyard because my God and Savior, my Creator and King, my Best Friend is listening and He cares. I think praising God through trials is a lot more like finding a safe place to wait during an earthquake. While the earth is shaking you don't know what damage will be done, but you hold on tight to a table or door frame with the faith that you've chosen the best option in a situation that's far beyond your control.

While my brain was working below capacity through stress and exhaustion I relied on two time-tested methods for praising the Lord. Gratitude and singing. Gratitude is an important principle in AA and CR. We list what we're grateful for daily to break up depression and useless obsession. In this case, I found that most all my prayers consisted of talking to God about all that I was grateful for throughout the process of getting ready for the trek to the hospital, making sure Jaela was taken care of (thank you, Shae), getting to the VA nearly on time, checking in, waiting, then saying goodbye with a short kiss before they wheeled him away into the unknown.

The practice of talking to God about all the things I noticed that I was sure He placed in our lives for our good was somehow calming and, I think, a good use of my time. That is not to say that while I was walking around and waiting around for the surgery to be over I didn't ask myself some truly hair-raising questions like: What if he doesn't make it through the surgery? What if I never see him again? What if Jaela grows up without her dear father? Rather than focusing on the nightmares those questions conjured, I switched off obsession and switched on gratitude. Every once in a while I would bother my Heavenly Father with yet another request for His blessing on Greg and those responsible for his care.

OK, time to talk about singing. I'm not saying I was walking around the busy halls of the VA singing praises to God at the top of my voice -- but I was surely doing it in my head. Again, this type of singing is very different from the singing I do in church with the lights on. I couldn't remember the lyrics of my favorite praise and worship songs -- I couldn't even remember which songs they were. I did remember a song from my childhood though. It's one we sang by rote every Sabbath -- and I admit that the routine didn't serve to bring home the meaning of the song for me. Somewhere along the way though, the Holy Spirit brought this song to life for me -- another thing to be grateful for. God ministering to us through our trials in His own special and loving way.

The song: Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow. Listen here: The Doxology like they did it back in the day.
Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heavenly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.Amen

Dear God,
Thank You for a heart that praises You when things are uncertain and scary. Thank You for keeping Your promises to our family and for taking such divinely good care of us. Thank You for keeping our family from harm and danger and for giving us to each other. Thank You for listening and for being our God. We love You and praise You always.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

Dish It Out

2011-09-05T20:37:00.000-07:00

At the end of a pity party that had gone on for a few days, I realized that I could take it, but I was having trouble dishing it out. Once I realized that -- everything changed.

Yes, not the other way around: I had been taking it pretty well without dishing it out for the duration of my pity party. What is it? It is understanding, patience, compassion, kindness. Did I already say understanding? While I indulged my tendency to focus on how the world is treating me and the unfairness of it all, I was also depending on the understanding, patience, compassion and kindness of those around me.

Once I realized that I had been ungrateful for the love that had been shown to me, especially by my husband, it caused an immediate attitude adjustment. I realized that I had been relying on the goodness of my family and friends without showing them the same. I could take it, but could I dish it out?

With God's help I got my head on straight and got grateful for every kindness done to me. I started to notice more and more how good I have it at home and at work. Things are not perfect, but I can't deny it any more -- God is good all the time.

I gave it away.

2011-08-11T06:39:00.000-07:00

As I grow and learn in recovery, there are a few things I have fine tuned about my understanding of how we work toward realizing the gifts of recovery: serenity, wisdom, divine intuition, freedom, peace, joy.

What I learned in AA: You can’t give away what you don’t have.

What I have come to believe through CR: If you don’t give it away, you can’t have it.

A dear friend of mine came through for me at just the right time last week as I was spinning in a funk of impatience and insecurity. She thinks I did her a favor because she called me and I answered. She asked me to accompany her on an appointment and I did. Because she is a gracious person in recovery she has thanked me for the ride, for my attention, for my friendship. But I know that I got the better end of the deal.

By moving through the unanswered questions I had about what the day would hold and my fears about not being prepared, I moved out of my comfort zone and into a place where God could work. I suppose that if I had felt competent, I wouldn’t have relied on Him the way I did. I wouldn’t have checked in with Him every step along the way. I wouldn’t have been praying for His will to be done, for His words to come through my mouth and His ideas to inspire me. God answered my willingness to help with His patience, His grace, His wisdom. It flowed through me to my friend, through my friend to me and all around us.

If I didn’t show up to give away whatever gifts God has given me, I wouldn’t have been able to manifest them in such a tangible way that day. Although I felt small, our Big God was there to take up where my best ideas left off.

I wonder how many times I’ve wiggled out of the opportunity to be of service to someone and unknowingly wiggled my way out of the blessings God had in store for me. Because our God has endless resources, I know He found another way for the person to get help when I declined, but did I miss out on a miracle?

Dear God,

Thank you for being our Big, Loving God. Thank you for the friendships I’ve formed in recovery – they are some of the best relationships I have and I realize they are a gift from You.

When I have the opportunity to help someone or be of service in some way, please put “yes” in my heart and on my lips. Please help me put aside any feelings I have that keep me from giving away that which You have freely given me. Help me to forget my weaknesses and fear long enough to receive Your empowering Spirit of wisdom, love and patience.

Thank You for those who read this prayer. Please bless them and those around them in such a way that they know You are at work.

We love You and thank You for answering our prayers and being our Best Friend.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

one day with my dad

2011-07-27T22:16:00.000-07:00

I never deserved the one chance I got. I certainly don't deserve a second one.

sin = death

I am a sinner. I deserve death. Instead I have been living a very blessed life. I could write a gratitude list a mile long, but that's a little off my point.

grace = life

My life is founded on God's grace and His supergenerous biggerthangigantic love. Today is one example: I got a second chance to find joy in my father's company. After so many years and rivers of water under the bridge, I got to appreciate my dad for the interesting, intelligent and thoughtful person he is.

We spent most of the day together and I thoroughly enjoyed it. For the first time in a long time, it was just him and me. Because I realized early in the day what a privilege it was to drive out to see him my whole approach to the day was different than usual. I took my time. I was in no rush. There were no appointments or commitments to attend to. I was there because I wanted to be.

I took cues from my dad and allowed myself to go at his pace... Thanks to advice from a wise NY Times writer who also writes for the blog: The New Old Age. I was prepared to have one of my best days ever with my dad. When my sense of pointless urgency fell away, so did my anxiety about traffic and arrival/departure times and parking rates and lowsaltlowcholesterollowfat diets and cardiac patient med mixes and... and...

I made good use of my time today -- cleaning to my heart's content, organizing a cabinet, listening to stories about old family friends and new neighbors, checking out the backyard I grew up in, and reintroducing my dad to the wonderful world of mandatory recycling. I enjoyed the quiet of a house full of memories -- many bittersweet, now that my mother has been gone for nearly 15 years. Mostly it was nice just being around my dad without all the hangups I usually bring along for the occasion.

Near the tail end of our one excursion today, we even took a precious moment to enjoy the beauty of a water fountain and feel the warmth of the sun on our upturned faces. It must have been divine inspiration that reminded me to take a picture of my dad posing -- very nonchalantly -- for the camera. He was handsome there in his tweed and soft stillveryblack halo of hair.

I fell in love with my dad again for all the same reasons I had as a little girl. My father was kind and caring today. He was thoughtful and charming today. He made me feel special when he called me "daughter" and "dear". He made me feel like the most blessed kid in the world. Thanks, Dad. Thanks, especially to You, Divine Dad.

Praise the Lord: my father's favorite psalms

2011-07-20T20:12:00.000-07:00

to worship You i live by israel & new breed

Psalm 103

Of David. ¹ Praise the LORD, my soul;
   all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
² Praise the LORD, my soul,
   and forget not all his benefits—
³ who forgives all your sins
   and heals all your diseases,
⁴ who redeems your life from the pit
   and crowns you with love and compassion,
⁵ who satisfies your desires with good things
   so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
⁶ The LORD works righteousness
   and justice for all the oppressed.
⁷ He made known his ways to Moses,
   his deeds to the people of Israel:
⁸ The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
   slow to anger, abounding in love.
⁹ He will not always accuse,
   nor will he harbor his anger forever;
¹⁰ he does not treat us as our sins deserve
   or repay us according to our iniquities.
¹¹ For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
   so great is his love for those who fear him;
¹² as far as the east is from the west,
   so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
¹³ As a father has compassion on his children,
   so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
¹⁴ for he knows how we are formed,
   he remembers that we are dust.
¹⁵ The life of mortals is like grass,
   they flourish like a flower of the field;
¹⁶ the wind blows over it and it is gone,
   and its place remembers it no more.
¹⁷ But from everlasting to everlasting
   the LORD’s love is with those who fear him,
   and his righteousness with their children’s children—
¹⁸ with those who keep his covenant
   and remember to obey his precepts.
¹⁹ The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
   and his kingdom rules over all.
²⁰ Praise the LORD, you his angels,
   you mighty ones who do his bidding,
   who obey his word.
²¹ Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,
   you his servants who do his will.
²² Praise the LORD, all his works
   everywhere in his dominion.
   Praise the LORD, my soul.

Psalm 27

Of David. ¹ The LORD is my light and my salvation—
   whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
   of whom shall I be afraid?
² When the wicked advance against me
   to devour me,
it is my enemies and my foes
   who will stumble and fall.
³ Though an army besiege me,
   my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
   even then I will be confident.
⁴ One thing I ask from the LORD,
   this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
   all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the LORD
   and to seek him in his temple.
⁵ For in the day of trouble
   he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
   and set me high upon a rock.
⁶ Then my head will be exalted
   above the enemies who surround me;
at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
   I will sing and make music to the LORD.
⁷ Hear my voice when I call, LORD;
   be merciful to me and answer me.
⁸ My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
   Your face, LORD, I will seek.
⁹ Do not hide your face from me,
   do not turn your servant away in anger;
   you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
   God my Savior.
¹⁰ Though my father and mother forsake me,
   the LORD will receive me.
¹¹ Teach me your way, LORD;
   lead me in a straight path
   because of my oppressors.
¹² Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
   for false witnesses rise up against me,
   spouting malicious accusations.
¹³ I remain confident of this:
   I will see the goodness of the LORD
   in the land of the living.
¹⁴ Wait for the LORD;
   be strong and take heart
   and wait for the LORD.

Psalm 40

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
¹ I waited patiently for the LORD;
   he turned to me and heard my cry.
² He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
   out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
   and gave me a firm place to stand.
³ He put a new song in my mouth,
   a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the LORD
   and put their trust in him.
⁴ Blessed is the one
   who trusts in the LORD,
who does not look to the proud,
   to those who turn aside to false gods.
⁵ Many, LORD my God,
   are the wonders you have done,
   the things you planned for us.
None can compare with you;
   were I to speak and tell of your deeds,
   they would be too many to declare.
⁶ Sacrifice and offering you did not desire—
   but my ears you have opened—
   burnt offerings and sin offerings you did not require.
⁷ Then I said, “Here I am, I have come—
   it is written about me in the scroll.
⁸ I desire to do your will, my God;
   your law is within my heart.”
⁹ I proclaim your saving acts in the great assembly;
   I do not seal my lips, LORD,
   as you know.
¹⁰ I do not hide your righteousness in my heart;
   I speak of your faithfulness and your saving help.
I do not conceal your love and your faithfulness
   from the great assembly.
¹¹ Do not withhold your mercy from me, LORD;
   may your love and faithfulness always protect me.
¹² For troubles without number surround me;
   my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
They are more than the hairs of my head,
   and my heart fails within me.
¹³ Be pleased to save me, LORD;
   come quickly, LORD, to help me.
¹⁴ May all who want to take my life
   be put to shame and confusion;
may all who desire my ruin
   be turned back in disgrace.
¹⁵ May those who say to me, “Aha! Aha!”
   be appalled at their own shame.
¹⁶ But may all who seek you
   rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who long for your saving help always say,
   “The LORD is great!”
¹⁷ But as for me, I am poor and needy;
   may the Lord think of me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
   you are my God, do not delay.

_______________________________________
Well, my father has come out of the angiogram successfully and I am encouraged. God is showing up tonight in this hospital. It has been so comforting to read the passages that touch my father. This is just another gift of sobriety, of recovery, from Our Dear Father.

Here Today

2011-07-20T18:38:00.000-07:00

here today by paul mccartney

As we recover we will be called to show our support and concern for another human being. This can be shocking for someone like me who for years was not invited to weddings or notified about funerals. I missed births and birthdays without knowing what I was missing or caring.

Since I’ve been in recovery I’ve noticed a definite shift. I have attended funerals to support friends and family members although I didn’t know the deceased. I’ve visited patients in the hospital whose homes I never visited. More than once, I’ve been the emergency contact for someone I’m not related to and more than once someone has used their one phone call to call me.

Attending funerals and making hospital visits is just as difficult for me as for anyone. Like many, I don’t know what to say when someone has lost a loved one. I fumble for a panacea when tragedy strikes. Without knowing how to help, in fact, being sure I can’t help, I show up anyway.

These changes just occurred to me today while visiting my father in the emergency room following his third heart attack. He asked for me. My father is one of those who had little to do with me when I was still drinking. And now, he asked for me. He honored me by asking me to take him to the hospital when he was unable to do so on his own steam. For whatever reason, he knew I would come when he needed me. That wasn’t always true. Today, by the grace of God, I got dressed and found myself in the position to assist him with getting the care he needed.

I have felt overwhelmed and scared all day because according to his doctors, my father is not doing well at all. But because of the peace that passes understanding I have a blessed hope. In these difficult moments, I find God’s promises particularly precious. And I thank God that today, with His power, I can show up for another human being, even my dear father.

ch-ch-ch-changes

2011-07-02T16:40:00.000-07:00

Today God has helped me realize some things I have been struggling with lately.

Struggle One: I don't like how my life has changed lately.
Realization One: God doesn't change.

My relationship with God is unlike any other. I can depend on Him like no other. He is the only constant in an ever changing world.

This morning there was a song running in my head I couldn't stop: Landslide by Stevie Nicks. The particular verse that was on loop was:

well, i've been afraid of changin'
'cause i've built my life around you
but time makes you bolder
even children get older
and i'm getting older too

On Saturdays, more than any other day of the week, I try to keep my mind focused on God. To celebrate the Sabbath I work harder than usual to drown out mundane worries with spiritual ideas. Obviously, this song is not one being sung to God. So, after I failed in changing over to a gospel song or hymn numerous times, I decided to look at the Landslide song closer so I could come to terms with why it's running non stop in my head.

Clearly the writer isn't talking about being afraid of changes because her life was built around God. One who was inspired by an understanding of our steadfast God wrote: Great is Thy Faithfulness.

great is Thy faithfulness by selah

Great is Thy faithfulness, oh God, my Father,
there is no shadow of turning with Thee.
Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not,
as Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

As a kid I didn't understand what "there is no shadow of turning with Thee" meant. Of course, way back then I didn't understand what "I've built my life around you: meant either. At age 44, I have experienced enough to understand the difference.

Building my life around God, or better yet, on a relationship with God is a safer proposition than depending on nothing to change in human relationships. Human relationships are characterized by change. One way to define God would be to identify the One Who does not change.

If I am building my life around God, why am I so... here's the second struggle.

Struggle Two: I am scared.
Realization Two: I am choosing to be scared.

Something scary happened to me last month. I was laid off from work - again. The director stated that I hadn't done anything wrong. In fact, she said that I made a good contribution and she was sure I would do so again in my next position. But being unemployed scares me. I knew that before today: I get scared because of the uncertainty about when I will get back to work. I become insecure about finances. I grow worried about finding the proper direction for my daily activities. I realized just today that I am also scared because try as I might -- I didn't have control over whether or not I stayed employed. Going to work everyday didn't ensure I would keep my job. Working hard, getting results didn't keep me employed. Making progress on long term goals of the organization didn't do the trick. I was let go despite all these things. That was scary.

So, thank You, God. Today I was reminded that I am not in control. My best efforts may have little to do with the results I get -- I should make my best effort anyway. Most importantly -- if I continue to build my life around God, I don't have to be afraid of ch-ch-ch-changes.

Back to Basics: Life on Life's Terms

2011-05-13T16:06:00.000-07:00

No doubt: This has been one of the best weeks ever. In my emotional and physical overwhelm, on Monday (!) my memory stumbled over the seventh step prayer or my version of it:

Dear God,
I'm sorry for every stupid thing I've done and been.
Please fix me so I can help someone else today and get me off my mind.
I'm desperate for You.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

Here's the original version from page 76 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

My Creator,
I am now willing that you should have all of me,
good and bad.
I pray that you now remove from me
every single defect of character which stands in the way
of my usefulness to you and my fellows.
Grant me strength, as I go out from here,
to do your bidding.
Amen

(Now you can see just how poor my memory is.) Praise God! He answers prayers even when I forget how to pray them.

Immediately things started to change around me as my perspective changed. I began to find something beautiful everywhere I looked. I was swimming in gratitude about little things I usually take for granted. I was nicer to my husband and daughter and coworkers. I became fearlessly engaged with our interns and my clients. I forgot about how difficult it is these days for me to speak without preparing what I'm going to say.

I didn't pay much attention to my pain -- it came and went as it pleased and so did I. I walked happily. I even laughed out loud when my husband sent me down the same warehouse-long aisle three times to get an item at Costco after a long day at work. I was more relaxed. I enjoyed tasks that usually feel like a pain in the... butt. I made more calls to friends and answered more times when someone called me.

When someone asked me to do something I found myself happy to help. When someone ticked me off, I was actually looking for ways to show the person I appreciate them instead of trying to find ways to tell them how angry I am without ruining the relationship.

I thoroughly enjoyed time I spent in fellowship with other alcoholics -- some in recovery and some still in their disease. I connected better with more people this week and felt consciously connected to my Precious Higher Power.

I did laundry twice on two separate occasions and didn't get a resentment.

I worked every minute of every hour I was supposed to and made the most of them without second guessing myself.

In my personal life: I followed up. I was early a few times and late a few times and I handled both situations with ease -- more or less.

I saw a narrow glimpse of how God sees me.

I went to a 12 step meeting I haven't attended for 11 years. I laughed, I mourned, I gave several of those "what's up?" looks to people I didn't even know, with a smile. They gave me one back too. I shared in a general way what it was like, what happened and what it's like now. I shared my experience (scandalous and sad), strength (God, God and more God), and hope (He loves me. He loves you. No matter what.).

I also forgot an important appointment with a friend, failed to show up when I said I would, and made a call I probably shouldn't have to someone I used to know. I apologized, I repented, and I was honest with God and another human being about the exact nature of my wrongs.

And I witnessed two miracles this week.

It's amazing what happens when I ask God to set my agenda and power my program. I get to show up for others and be really present for my life and what's going on around me. I'm finally out of my own head and on the road to recovery.

peace&love

He is working right now!

2011-03-17T12:59:00.000-07:00

As sure as I am that I'm sitting here suddenly feeling better about my situation of life, I am sure that God is working right now on my behalf. What is He doing that prompted this announcement? He is doing what He does countless times per day, I'm just taking the time out right now to appreciate Him for it and to really enjoy the feeling that God cares for me in a hands-on way.

He's making my best good enough. Today my best is not anywhere close to what I would like it to be, but He's empowering me to do what I can and making up the difference. Holding my hand, calming my fears, and right-sizing my maginfying mind through it all.

Thank You, God. Thank You for caring for me in a tangible, personal way. Thank You for being Everything I need all the time.

The present is a gift.

2011-03-15T08:07:00.000-07:00

When I'm in the present -- really paying attention to the here and now -- I have fewer worries. Because managing my worries is something I struggle with at times, I should show up for my life more often. Instead of making feeble attempts at warding off those pesky anxieties with unhealthy distractions, I could ask God to help me experience my life as it happens.

God, please help me to focus on the moment, realizing fully that each one is a gift from You and that for each one You have a perfect purpose in mind for me. Help me see, hear, touch, taste and even smell my life as it's happening so that I can be of the greatest good to those around me. I love You. Thank You. In Jesus' Name, amen.

No, no we are not satisfied...

2011-01-17T08:13:00.000-08:00

No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream. -- Martin Luther King

"We Shall Overcome" speech excerpt
"We Shall Overcome" song sung by Joan Baez

Many of us have been concerned with social justice our whole lives. Perhaps it is because our hearts go out to those who have been oppressed and imprisoned. Perhaps it is because our people have been oppressed and imprisoned. Perhaps it is because we have been oppressed and imprisoned ourselves. We pray about what we hear in the news. We cry when learn about the pain of others. Our hearts are broken by how the world treats us and those we love. Sometimes we feel that the evil in the world is too much to withstand. We look for a way out from the misery we see all around us.

If we stay stuck in the bad news about the state of humankind: war, hunger, famine, oppression, slavery, rape, abuse, violence.. we prime ourselves for relapse, we deepen our depression, we forget that we have a Savior with a solution.

So, we don't look away from the truth of injustice in the world, but we also look up to God for answers. Dr. King referred to Amos 5 in his famous "I Have a Dream" speech. In that chapter of Amos, our God says, "Seek Me and live... Seek the Lord and live... Seek good, not evil, that you may live. Then the Lord God Almighty will be with you." Like the writer of Psalms, "I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth." Psalm 121: 1 and 2

So, we don't pick up a drink or a drug when we are overwhelmed by evil in the world. We need not eat over it or act out in any other way. We realize we are not alone and we take the advice found in Romans 12:14-21: "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord. On the contrary: 'If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.' Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Let's pray that God will focus our eyes on Him and our energies on His will.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next. Amen."

--Reinhold Niebuhr

time, time, time... see what's become of me

2011-01-12T19:35:00.000-08:00

"Time, time, time... see what's become of me

while I looked around

for my possibilities.

I was so hard to please.

But look around

leaves are brown

and the sky is a hazy shade of winter."

-Simon & Garfunkel

Today I thanked God for the difference between today and yesterday.

Today I am even more hopeful than I was yesterday. Today I made even better use of the time and resources God has entrusted to me. Today I talked with God a little longer and listened to Him even longer. Today I ate healthier food than I did yesterday. Today I took the advice of a wise friend. Today I called an old friend and a new friend. Today I thought more about someone else than I did of myself and did something about it.

Living life one day at a time is possible when you have a program that works. Celebrate Recovery works because we can depend on God's promises all day every day. Join us any Friday night if you have a hurt, habit or hang up. Join us even if you don't think you have one. You're more than welcome.

I'm not God: the converse is also true

2010-11-06T08:08:00.000-07:00

Step One is "Realize I'm not God; I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and my life is unmanageable." "Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor." Matthew 5:3

In recovery it's so important to realize I'm not God, it's in the first step. When I woke up this morning I was hit over the head with the reality that the converse is also true: God is not me. I've heard a thousand times that where I am weak, He is strong, but truth of the matter runs much deeper than that.

I'm bound by time. He is not. He is the Great I Am. He always Was. Is. Forever shall Be. He doesn't just see into the future. He is in the future: controlling it, creating it. He has infinitely more power to control the future than I have in this very moment to decide what I will do and how I will do it.

I'm distracted by my five senses. Bright, shiny things take my attention away from what's truly important -- what's really real. Then, of course, my feelings sometimes or even often out vote my best ideas, my good intentions, my common sense, my education, my experience... God is not ever distratcted. His mind doesn't wander. He's not fickle or mercurial. Not manic, not depressive. He is our Rock. He never changes.

He always keeps His promises.
He never forgets.
He is the One constant in our ever-chaning world.
Thank You, God for being You. Thank You for loving us the way only You can love us.

Consider the hymn: Great is Thy Faithfulness, by Thomas O. Chisholm (words) and William M. Runyan (music). Enjoy Selah singing the hymn.

Great is thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no Shadow of turning with thee;
Thou changest not, thy compassions, they fail not;
As thou hast been, thou forever wilt be.

Refrain:
Great is thy faithfulness! Great is thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed thy hand hath provided;
Great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto thee.

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon, and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Adult Children of Family Dysfunction: The Problem and Solution

2010-09-21T13:31:00.000-07:00

Do you feel isolated, uneasy with other people, especially authority figures? To protect yourself, are you a people pleaser, even though you lose your own identity in the process?
We either become alcoholics or married them or both. Failing that, we found another compulsive personality, such as a workaholic, to fulfill our sick need for abandonment.

The Problem
 We guess what is normal.
 We have difficulty following a project through, from beginning to end.
 We lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth
 We judge ourselves without mercy.
 We have difficulty having fun
 We take ourselves very seriously
 We have difficulty with relationships
 We over-react to changes over which we have no control
 We constantly seek approval and affirmation
 We are either super responsible or super irresponsible
 We are extremely loyal even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved
 We look for immediate rather than deferred gratification
 We lock ourselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternate behaviors or possible consequences
 We seek tension and crisis and then complain about the results
 We avoid conflict or aggravate it; rarely do we deal with it
 We fear rejection and abandonment, yet are rejecting of others
 We fear failure, but sabotage our success
 We fear criticism and judgment, yet criticize and judge others
 We manage time poorly and do not set priorities in a way that works well for us

The Solution
The solution is to become your own loving parent
 Find the freedom to express all the hurts and fears kept inside and gain freedom from the shame and blame carried over from the past
 Become an adult who was no longer imprisoned by childhood reactions
 Recover the child within us, learning to accept and love our-selves
 Move out the isolation
 Rediscover feelings and buried memories
 Gradually release the burden of unexpressed grief; slowly move out of the past
 Learn to re-parent ourselves with gentleness, humor, love and respect
 Learn to see our biological parents as the instruments of our existence
 Trust that our actual parent is the Higher Power, Jesus Christ. Although we had dysfunctional/alcoholic parents, our Higher Power gave us the eight Principles of Recovery  Receive experience, strength and hope to others
 Restructure sick thinking one day at a time
 Release our parents from responsibility for our actions today
 Become free to make healthful decisions as actors, not reactors
 Progress from hurting to healing to helping
 Awaken a sense of wholeness we knew was possible
 Come to see parental dysfunction for what it is and know how that affected us as a child and continues to affect us as an adult
 Learn to keep the focus on ourselves in the here and now
 Take responsibility for our own life and supply our own par-enting
 See beautiful changes in all our relationships, especially with God, ourselves and our parents.

Life through Rose-colored Glasses

2010-08-20T15:33:00.000-07:00

Definition from an internet dictionary of the idiom, rose-colored glasses: if someone thinks about or looks at something with rose-colored glasses, they think it is more pleasant than it really is.

While writing I once described myself as looking through a dirty old window in Sun Valley. Today I'm looking through a brand-new window in Sun Valley thanks to the craftspeople who have been working all week to install new windows and doors in our house. I adore the sights just outside my window.

I see my neighbor's too-green-and-beautiful-to-be-summer landscaping. I see boys riding scooters and hanging out in the shade of their porch. I see happy hillsides and fancy houses built into the nooks of those hillsides. I see sunflowers waiving cheerfully in a precious San Fernando Valley wind on this sweaty, sweltering day. I am constantly inspired by my view whether the window is old and dirty or shiny-new through which I look.

So what?

Lately I've noticed that I've become more grateful than ever for being grateful. Being grateful is a skill I've been learning for the last twelve years, for as long as I've been clean and sober. It was presented to me as a necessary survival technique for living life on life's terms. I was directed to write gratitude lists daily as part of my morning serenity and sobriety rituals. I followed that direction without a clue about how it would eventually color every aspect of my life. As I persisted, by the grace of God, I got better at identifying things to place on my lists. I got better at finding things to be grateful for.

Practicing gratitude has immediate and long term benefits. The first time I made a gratitude list I felt kinda weird as I figured out what to write. I was learning to slowly but surely shift my perspective away from its self-centered default setting. While I was still drinking and using people and substances, I made a career out of figuring out what I could get out of relationships. I was adept at finding out how I could beg, borrow or steal a feel-good moment from the precious moments God granted me. By practicing gratitude I had to shift from what I wanted to what I already had.

I doubt even the sickest of us put our guilty pleasures on our gratitude lists. I was no different. I couldn't fill my list with things like memories of my sinful conquests. The gratitude list process forced me to think about God-given things for which I was grateful. It turned out all the best things on my list were directly from God. Acknowledging His presence, His involvement in my life, His daily blessings were inescapable steps in crafting my list. So right away I starting thinking more about God and how He was doing for me what I couldn't do for myself.

As the years have past one day at a time I've developed habitual gratitude. I don't make written lists during a discrete part of my day anymore. When I'm on my game, I'm stuck on grateful. Sure, there are times when I hold short pity parties for myself. Today they usually don't last longer than half an hour or so. Then I go right back to being grateful for every good thing in my life. And I find a lot of good things when I survey my life, gazing out my window through the rose-colored glasses God gave me. I find myself being grateful for even the trying, hard, desperate times I experience. I'm grateful for the faith in God they build in me. I'm grateful for how God shows His TLC of me in crappy times. I'm grateful for the shortest respite, the smallest favor when I'm struggling.

No doubt, there are those that say that my point of view is naive or unrealistic. Life is hard. There are new horrors all over the world every day. That is true. Maybe it's more true today than it has been for a long time. But, there is another truth that keeps me going: Looking at life through grateful eyes has helped me help others, stomped out my depression, dialed down my anxiety, saved me from self-pity, repaired my relationships, and put a smile on my face that passes human understanding.

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7

Thank you, God.

Unforgiven

2010-07-15T08:02:00.000-07:00

Imagine...

You have a solid relationship with your best friend. You have been friends for years and the relationship has come to mean the world to you. As you experienced life together you learned you could depend on one another. When times were hard, you called on your friend and your friend never failed. It was hard to imagine celebrating any of life's special moments without your friend. Day or night, rain or shine, your friend was there for you.

One random day you did something that hurt your friend. Perhaps it was an oversight -- you weren't really thinking clearly when you made the decision that hurt your friend. Or perhaps you were careless and your judgment was faulty. You didn't intend to hurt your friend, but for a brief moment you risked the relationship and hurt the one that was always by your side in good times and bad.

When you realized that you hurt your best friend you first felt guilty and stupid for endangering such a vital friendship. Although it wasn't easy to admit you were so thoughtless, you gathered your courage, swallowed your pride and prepared to apologize. You stopped by your friend's home, a piece offering in hand, hopeful that the rift between you would be healed soon. As you knocked on the door, you were certain that you would never again make the same bad decision that led to this momemnt.

Your friend answered the door and allowed you enter. You sat in your favorite chair, your friend directly opposite. It almost felt like any other day. But your inner voice told you that it wasn't any other day. You had important business to discuss. You came to the point. "I'm sorry for what I did. I'm not sure why I did it, but I never meant to hurt you. I know I did and for that I am profoundly sorry. I hate that I risked our friendship given all we've been through. This will never happen again. You mean the world to me and I'm sorry. Please... please forgive me."

You looked deeply into the eyes of the person sitting in front of you and you realized that they were hard and cold. Your friend seemed unmoved by your apology. Suddenly the butterflies in your stomach turned to angry wasps. "I'm truly sorry," you offered again. The heavy words seemed to fall leaden to the floor before they reached their intended destination.

Your friend took a deep breath and stared. You felt yourself tearing up depsite your best efforts to hold onto any shred of hope that things would turn out OK. Again, "Please forgive me. I'm really torn up over this. I don't want to lose your friendship. I was careless. I was stupid. Please..." Hot, salty tears fell in your lap. You stared at the widening circles of moisture as if lifting your eyes to again meet your friend's stare was beyond your capacity. You would wait in this position until you heard or sensed some response other than that dreadful, steely gaze.

"I can't forgive you. I won't."

"But... please..."

"There is nothing more to say. Our friendship is over. Please leave."

The voice that meant unmatched comfort for as long as you could remember was flat, emotionless. Your heart breaking; you pretended to compose yourself, swallowed the lump in your throat and fled.

You sat in your car unaware of the passing of time or of your surroundings. You were numb and dazed. An unwelcome thought came to mind and replayed over and over. "I lost my best friend today. I lost my best friend today. I lost my best friend today." You didn't realize that you said the words out loud. Mechanically, you finally turned the key in the ignition and pulled into traffic. You didn't know where you were going and didn't care.

A couple of days ago I thought I had irrevocably damaged my relationship with my best friend. When I apologized for my carelessness, he bristled, all the muscles in his face seemed to turn to cement. His eyes were angry, lips pursed so that even if he wanted to say something it couldn't escape the determination of those tight lips. I went on and on about how I'd make up for my mistake, how I'd do whatever I could to make things the way they were before. He stared straight ahead as if I hadn't said a word. His silence spoke volumes. He didn't forgive me. He didn't forgive me. Perhaps he would change his mind later, but for now our relationship was broken. I was suddenly adrift as if it was our relationship that was tying me to the known world. This new world without his care and concern was unfamiliar and desolate.

Yesterday we repaired the rift between us and I felt light, relieved. The world made sense again and I could be hopeful about whatever life would bring next. Because I had felt the separation between me and my friend so profoundly I spent a moment or two resolving never to make the same mistakes again. But God took this opportunity to remind me that He isn't like my human best friend who wouldn't forgive me for a while. As my Divine Best Friend I can count on Him to forgive me as soon as I ask each and every time.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 American King James Version

As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12 New American Standard Bible

He promised and He hasn't ever let me down. Thank You, Jesus for forgiving me wihtout fail. Thank You for being my Best Friend. Thank you for the assurance, confidence and hope that comes from your forgiving grace.

Thank you for the shoulder, God

2010-05-28T09:29:00.001-07:00

A few weeks ago I was rushing to work. I was running a little late and, as I jumped on the freeway, I hoped that the traffic wouldn't set me back further. Trying to keep the wreckage of my past in my consciousness, I remembered my last two car accidents which were my fault and began to practice my safer driving skills. Like safer sex guidelines (as opposed to safe sex guidelines), I admit that nothing but God will keep me safe on the road. I became more aware of other drivers and accelerated as best as I could in my aging Ford Focus.

I hadn't yet made it into the mainstream of the freeway when I checked my left side view mirror and noticed a truck advancing quickly. I took my foot off the gas pedal and coasted onto the shoulder to allow the truck to pass. I was on the shoulder for just a moment, but that moment was a critical one. I was on well on the freeway when I realized that I could have been in yet another accident and perhaps I wouldn't have walked away from this one. Perhaps someone else's survival had been at stake.

A spark of anger petered out before it became a flame -- drowned by the gratitude I felt for having a shoulder I could escape to when I needed it. I didn't plan to be run off the road, in fact, my plans involved me making up lost time on a clear highway. Instead, I needed to slow down on the side of the road for a moment. The moment on that shoulder and the wonderful God who gave them to me may have very well saved my life that morning.

I don't remember if I got to work on time that morning, but I do remember to be thankful for shoulders -- moments of escape and respite -- and for a heavenly Father who provides just what I need when I need it.

Sheila Raye Charles: Testimony & Concert March 19

2010-03-12T08:41:00.000-08:00

Our Celebrate Recovery fellowship is sponsoring a special event on Friday, March 19, 2010. We are privileged to have Sheila Raye Charles - daughter of Ray Charles - come and tell her testimony interspersed with her music and that of Ray Charles.

You may get a sample of her testimony at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDbh-H8tp6g.

Tell your friends and neighbors. Share the info with other fellowships. Hope to see you there!

Dinner at 6PM.
Sheila Raye Charles at 7PM.

What It's Like Today

2010-03-07T19:20:00.002-08:00

Today my mind feels frayed at the edges. My attention span is about seven seconds and my fuse is even shorter. All day I've been on the verge of tears or temper tantrums. It's a good thing I've spent most of the day alone at home.

My imagination flits from one obsessive thought to another: clean the house, lose weight, do the laundry NOW. I feel misunderstood by those that are closest to me: my husband, my daughter, my best friend. I spend a lot of time apologizing for being weird or weepy -- for being unable to seem normal.

My body undermines my best intentions. Exercise hurts. Sitting with my legs crossed hurts. Keeping my head turned to the right for ten minutes while I watch Perry Mason reruns hurts. Thinking about my pain hurts.

I am depressed, but I'm not desolate. I am anxious, but I'm not afraid. I'm grateful that I have a home that sheilds me from the mercurial weather and a family that can withstand my mercurial moods. I'm grateful that my family extends beyond my household and relatives to my church, to my CR group, to my circle of friends in the fellowship. I'm grateful that I know people that are like me and like me. I have friends that call to pray for me and with me. They call to check in and let me know that I'm not alone. I'm grateful that as bad as things get they are never as bad as before God rerouted me to the road to recovery.

Even when I can't move, I can talk to God. Even when I can't form a cogent thought, I can eke out a "thank you, Jesus" just because He's brought me this far and hasn't left me. Sometimes I crack a smile at my pain and anguish because it's not all I have. I have a program that works. I have my sobriety. I have a lot to be grateful for. I have people that love and accept me and I have my precious Savior who isn't done with me yet.

Bumpersticker

2010-02-06T21:26:00.000-08:00

Today I saw a bumper sticker created by a guy named rebeldeadhead. It fits:

I Took the Challenge

2010-02-01T11:22:00.001-08:00

Some time ago I heard a sermon about praising God through trials. I remember that the talk began innocently enough asking the question: What should a Christian do when things go wrong?

We already had a collective understanding that things can and will go bad for Christians. Having Jesus in my life doesn't inoculate me from tragedy. In fact, one of Christ's promises (if you want to call it a promise) is that we will have trouble. See John 3:16: "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (NIV) The comforting part of this promise is that He has overcome the world and that in Him we can have peace.

So, as a Christian, I should expect trouble, but what should I do to have the peace He's talking about? Peace of mind is often an elusive goal I chase especially in troubled times, so I was listening when the pastor offered advice about what to do when things go wrong.

The answer was simple and not at all what I wanted to hear: Praise God. When things are good, praise God. When things go wrong, praise God. We were reminded about what Paul and Silas did in prison after being wrongly accused and whipped: They sang hymns to God! Check out Acts 16: 22-26: "The crowd joined in the attack against Paul and Silas, and the magistrates ordered them to be stripped and beaten. After they had been severely flogged, they were thrown into prison, and the jailer was commanded to guard them carefully. Upon receiving such orders, he put them in the inner cell and fastened their feet in the stocks. About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everybody's chains came loose." (NIV)

At first I thought what I always think when I'm encouraged to fashion my idea of living life on life's terms after a Bible character: Well. That was then and this is now. I don't have the spiritual resources and wherewithal Paul did. God didn't manifest Himself in a special way to show me that I am special to Him and I have a role to play in His grand plan like He did with Paul.

Then I come clean: Those are all lies. God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Jesus promised that we have the same access to God that He has as God's Son! Certainly I have it at least as good as Paul did. After all, I've never been imprisoned for sharing Christ's message of love with others; I've never been beaten up for preaching God's grace. God has shown up in my life time and time again in miraculous ways to tell me He loves me, to save me from my own best plans, and to lead me in a life according to His purpose that is way beyond my wildest, drunken dreams.

So today I want to be like Paul. When people blame me for problems I didn't cause... When folks try to use me to meet their less than honorable goals... When I'm disappointed in the actions of others and myself... When tragedy visits (as I'm sure it will) I will praise God and revel in the peace of mind that is promised. When I praise God I count on the prison doors of my consciousness flying open and the chains that keep me from serenity coming loose.

Give it a try and let me know if you find any prison foundations shaken.

Friday Nights @ Celebrate Recovery in Burbank

2010-01-15T10:52:00.000-08:00

You are welcome to join us as we meet every Friday night for Celebrate Recovery in Burbank

6-7 PM Food Fellowship Fun
Dinner: A full, wholesoe meal with friends

7-8 PM Main Meeting
Large Group Testimonies and Teaching

8-9 PM Open Share
Women’s and Men’s Small Groups

9-10 PM Solid Rock Café
Socialize with group members over coffee and dessert

FAQs

What if I can't get there until 7PM?
Come at 6PM for dinner, at 7PMfor the large group meeting, or at 8PM for open share... but we'd love to see you there from 6PM until the Solid Rock after party!

Can I bring my child?
Kids are welcome -- call at least 48 hours in advance if you need childcare.

I'm not a Christian, am I still welcome?
Absolutely. If you have a hurt, hang up or habit and you'd like to find some peace, you are welcome.

I don't know if I have a hurt, hang up or habit -- I'm not an alcoholic or addict. Is Celebrate Recovery for me?
Yes! Are you curious about the program? Wondering if it might help you with your (fill in the blank)? You are in the right place. Celebrate Recovery is safe place to explore how God can make a difference in your life -- even if you're not sure what the problem is.

Where is Burbank Seventh-day Adventist Church?
710 S. Glenoaks Blvd., Burbank, CA 91502
We're at the corner of Glenoaks and Cedar Ave. You can take the 5 fwy, exit Alameda East. Turn left on Glenoaks and look for the brick church on the right side of the street just before you get to at Cedar Ave.

I have more questions, who can I call?
Call Pastor Jan or LaViva at (818) 848-7051. We'd be happy to talk to you. Or you can reach us by email at outreach@burbanksda.com.

I Still Don't Understand

2009-02-17T18:11:00.000-08:00

“While we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. Why, one will hardly die for a righteous man – though perhaps for a good man one will dare even to die. But God shows His love for us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us (Romans 5:6-8).

One Saturday morning I was praying with my church family in our main service: I was praying to God in my head while our friend Rose was praying out loud for the congregation. I stopped my silent whispering to God when I heard something that seemed to speak directly to my experience. Rose said something like, “We don’t understand how You love us, but we respond to Your Divine love with our devotion and desire to know You better.” I’m sure that’s not a direct quote, but that’s the message I took from her prayer.

“I don’t understand Your love,” was such a candid and fresh way to talk to God. I thought, this is how I feel in God’s presence, how I feel when I imagine my Best Friend, my Heavenly Father, His Comforting Spirit. Coming clean about how I still don’t understand why Jesus would leave His Father’s side in heaven to take on the form of His creation and give His life for the sake of a doomed creature like me seems to be a good place to start when I talk to God. I’m still trying to wrap my head around LOVE like that.

My response to His love is only possible because His LOVE came first. Check out Romans 5:8 again: while I was still a sinner Christ died for me! “…He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him. He destined us in love to be His sons (and daughters) through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will (Ephesians 1: 4, 5). Because He loved me, because He chose me to be a member of His family I chose to “taste and see that the Lord is good” (Psalm 34:8) and keep choosing to let Him change me and my life from the inside out.

Of course, the way I understand things is not something I’ve been able to rely on in the past. I’ve made some of the worst decisions ever based on my understanding of what role I’m supposed to play, what others are supposed to do, and how life works in general. It’s a good thing that God has that covered: I don’t have to have it figured out to be in a relationship with Him or even to get along in the world. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5). He’ll guide me even without a theologian’s understanding of scripture or salvation.

When I read the Word I get the idea that His love isn’t even within the grasp of my understanding. “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7). I don’t have to get how it works to live in His love. Thank God!

You're Invited

2009-01-01T11:01:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

You're invited to our New Year's celebration this Friday, January 2, 2009 at 6PM at Celebrate Recovery in Burbank.

We're planning a delicious Italian dinner and inspiring meetings and fellowship.

I can't think of a better way to bring in the new year than with you and other CR friends.

Feel free to call for more information.

Service Opportunity: Child Care for CR

2009-01-01T10:32:00.000-08:00

We are looking for a responsible adult (age 18+) to agree to provide child care for the kids that come with their parents to CR on Friday nights. Commitments can vary: Choose a schedule that works for you. Child care is needed on Friday nights from 7-9PM in Burbank. $20 per night + dinner and fellowship.

Must be able to pass a background check.

Call 818/848-7051 for more information.

Celebrate Our 1st Anniversary @ Burbank CR

2008-10-08T18:19:00.000-07:00

It has certainly been a busy year -- a Spirit filled year! Praise God!

If someone had clued me in ahead of time about all the awesome blessings and revelations God had in store for us -- I would have been overwhelmed at the prospect.

We have developed real friendships in our Celebrate Recovery fellowship in Burbank. We have listened to inspiring testimonies and learned about the principles of a program that promised (and delivers) freedom from hurts, habits, and hang ups. We have enjoyed good food and better company. We have begun our step studies -- men on Tuesdays and women on Thursdays.

And we have celebrated our recovery together. We have shared our troubles and triumphs. We have been blessed.

Please join us as we get together for a very special celebration of the completion of our first year and our friend C. taking her 6 month chip.

Same CR place: Burbank Seventh-day Adventist Church.
Same CR time: Friday night, October 10, dinner starts at 6PM.

We'd love to see you there -- kids are welcome!

Sobriety Birthday Celebration

2008-01-22T19:08:00.000-08:00

Join us for a special sobriety birthday celebration
Friday night, February 1, 2008
Dinner at 6 PM
Large Group Meeting at 7 PM

We'll be celebrating with:
Shae 3 years
Erlinda 8 years
LaViva 10 years
Jutta 16 years

Everyone is welcome -- including kids!

Welcome Newcomers!

2007-11-10T05:20:00.000-08:00

The purpose of Celebrate Recovery is to fellowship and celebrate God's healing power in our lives through the eight recovery principles found in the Beatitudes* and Christ-centered 12 Steps. This experience allows us to be changed. We open the door by sharing our experiences, victories, and hopes with one another. In addition, we become willing to accept God's grace in solving our life problems.

By working the Christ-centered steps and applying their biblical principles found in the Beatitudes*, we begin to grow spiritually. We become free from our addictive, compulsive, and dysfunctional behaviors. This freedom creates peace, serenity, joy, and most importantly, a stronger personal relationship with God and others.

As we progress through the principles and the steps, we discover our personal, loving, and forgiving Higher Power -- Jesus Christ.

Welcome to an Amazing Spiritual Adventure!

* You can find the Beatitudes in the Bible: Matthew 5.

Small Group Guidelines

2007-10-10T05:18:00.000-07:00

The Small Group Guidelines are the foundation of Celebrate Recovery:

Keep your sharing focused on your own thoughts and feelings. Limit your sharing to three to five minutes.
There will be NO cross talk. Cross talk is when two individuals engage in conversation, excluding all others. Each person is free to express his or her feelings without interruptions.
We are here to support one another, not “fix” one another.
Anonymity and confidentiality are basic requirements. What is shared in the group stays in the group. The only exception is when someone threatens to injure themselves or others.
Offensive language has no place in a Christ-centered recovery group.

Some are sicker than others. Some of us need a Savior.

2007-09-22T09:34:00.000-07:00

“Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners – of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on Him and receive eternal life.” 1 Timothy 1:15,16

I may not ever have much in common with the biblical writer, Paul – but I know we have his “trustworthy saying” in common. I found freedom by admitting I am sicker than others and that I need a Savior. I thank God that I found grace even though I was so far gone that I didn’t dare seek it.

My name is LaViva. I am a believer in Jesus Christ that struggles with alcoholism and depression.

After living my sickest, drunken dreams and barely surviving the nightmare of full-blown alcoholism and a life of debauchery, I poured my last 40-ounce down the drain. That was nine years ago by the grace of God. I found a solution to my spiritual, mental and physical malady in the 12 steps. I found a loving and forgiving God through the acceptance and care of people in the rooms.

God has done amazing things since I gave myself over to His care. Today I have a loving husband and a wonderful daughter. I have a job that gives me the opportunity to be of service to others everyday. And God is bringing me to the next level of my recovery: I am coordinating a new recovery program at my church called Celebrate Recovery. In this program we address our hurts, habits and hang ups through a Christ-centered 12 step program.

I personally invite anyone even slightly interested to our regular CR meetings on Friday nights at 6PM at Burbank Seventh-day Adventist Church at 710 S. Glenoaks Blvd., Burbank, CA 91502. I can be reached through outreach@burbanksda.com or 818.848.7051.

May God bless you, especially if you have a feeling you might be “sicker than others”, like me.

The Road to Recovery

2007-09-10T22:46:00.001-07:00

Recovery Principles, based on the Beatitudes, by Pastor Rick Warren

Realize I'm not God; I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and my life is unmanageable. Step 1
"Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor." Matthew 5:3

Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, and that He has the power to help me recover. Step 2
"Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:4

Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ's care and control. Step 3
"Happy are the meek." Matthew 5:5

Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God, and to someone I trust. Steps 4 & 5
"Happy are the pure in heart." Matthew 5:8

Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects. Steps 6 & 7
"Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires." Matthew 5:6

Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I've done to others except when to do so would harm them or others. Steps 8 & 9"Happy are the merciful." Matthew 5:7 "Happy are the peacemakers." Matthew 5:9

Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and gain the power to follow His will. Steps 10 & 11

Yield myself to God to be used to bring this Good News to others, both by my example and by my words. Step 12
"Happy are those who are persecuted because they do what God requires." Matthew 5:10

CR: Things We Are/Things We Are Not

2007-09-10T22:17:00.000-07:00

Things We Are:
A safe place to share
A refuge
A place of belonging
A place to care for others and be cared for
A place where respect is given to each member
A place where confidentiality is highly regarded
A place to learn
A place to grow and become strong again
A place where you can take off your mask
A place for healthy challenges and healthy risks
A possible turning point in your life

Things We Are Not:
A place for selfish control
A place for therapy
A place for secrets
A place to look for dating relationships
A place to rescue or be rescued by others
A place for perfection
A place to judge others
A quick fix

What is Codependence?

2007-09-09T23:27:00.000-07:00

My good feelings about who I am stem from being loved by you.
My good feelings about who I am stem from receiving approval from you.
Your struggle affects my serenity. My mental attention focuses on solving your problems or relieving your pain.
My mental attention is focused on pleasing you.
My mental attention is focused on protecting you.
My self-esteem is bolstered by solving your problems.
My self-esteem is bolstered by relieving your pain.
My own hobbies and interests are put aside. My time is spent sharing your interests and hobbies.
Your clothing and personal appearance are dictated by my desires as I feel you are a reflection of me.
Your behavior is dictated by my desires as I feel you are a reflection of me.
I am not aware of how I feel. I am aware of how you feel.
I am not aware of what I want -- I ask what you want. I am not aware -- I assume.
The dreams I have for my future are linked to you.
My fear of rejection determines what I say or do.
My fear of your anger determines what I say or do.
I use giving as a way of feeling safe in our relationship.
My social circle diminishes as I involve myself with you.
I put my values aside in order to connect with you.
I value your opinion and way of doing things more than my own.
The quality of my life is in direct relation to the quality of yours.

THERE IS A SOLUTION.
By working through the eight recovery principles found in the Beatitudes with Jesus Christ as your Higher Power, you can and will change! You will begin to experience the true peace and serenity you have been seeking, and you will no longer have to rely on your codependent behaviors as a temporary "fix" for your pain.

Adult Children of the Chemically Addicted

2007-09-09T19:08:00.000-07:00

Common Characteristics among ACA

- Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal is
- Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty in following a project through, from beginning to end
- Adult children of alcoholics lie while it would be just as easy to tell the truth
- Adult children of alcoholics judge themselves without mercy
- Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty having fun
- Adult children of alcoholics take themselves very seriously
- Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty with intimate relationships
- Adult children of alcoholics over-react to changes over which they have no control
- Adult children of alcoholics constantly seek approval and affirmation
- Adult children of alcoholics feel that they are different from other people
- Adult children of alcoholics are either super responsible or super irresponsible
- Adult children of alcoholics are extremely loyal even in the evidence that the loyalty is undeserved
- Adult children of alcoholics look for immediate rather than deferred gratification

The Problem

Many of us found that we had several characteristics in common as a result of being brought up in an alcoholic or otherwise chemically addicted household.

We had come to feel isolated, uneasy with other people, and especially authority figures. To protect ourselves, we became people pleasers, even though we lost our own identities in the process. All the same, we would mistake any personal criticism as a threat.

We either became chemically addicted ourselves or married them or both. Failing that, we found another compulsive personality, such as a workaholic, to fulfill our sick need for abandonment.

We lived life from the standpoint of victims. Having an over-developed sense of responsibility, we preferred to be concerned with others rather than ourselves. We somehow got guilt feelings when we stood up for ourselves rather than giving in to others. Thus, we became reactors, rather than actors, letting others take the initiative.

We were dependent personalities — terrified of abandonment — willing to do almost anything to hold onto a relationship in order not to be abandoned emotionally. Yet we kept choosing insecure relationships because they matched our childhood relationship with alcoholic parents.

These symptoms of the family problem of chemical dependency made us “co-victims” -- those who take on the characteristics of the alcoholic without necessarily ever taking a drink. We learned to keep our feelings down as children and kept them buried as adults. As a result of this conditioning, we confused love with pity, tending to love those we could rescue. Even more self-defeating, we became addicted to excitement in all our affairs, preferring constant upset to workable relationships.

This is a description, not an indictment.

The Solution

The solution is to become your own loving parent.

As the ACA group becomes a safe place for you, you will find the freedom to express all the hurts and fears you have kept inside and to free yourself from the shame and blame that are carryovers from the past. You will become an adult who is imprisoned no longer by childhood reactions. You will recover the child within you, learning to accept and love yourself.

The healing begins when we risk moving out of isolation. Feeling and buried memories will return. By gradually releasing the burden of unexpressed grief, we slowly move out of the past. We learn to re-parent ourselves with gentleness, humor, love and respect.

This process allows us to see our biological parents as the instruments of our existence. Our actual parent is the Higher Power, Jesus Christ. Although we had alcoholic parents, our Higher Power gave us the 8 Principles of Recovery.

This is the action and work that heals us; we use the Steps, we use the meetings and we use the telephone. We share our experience, strength and hope with each other. We learn to restructure our sick thinking one day at a time. When we release our parents from responsibility from our actions today, we become free to make healthful decisions as actors, not reactors. We progress from hurting to healing to helping. We awaken to a sense of wholeness we never knew was possible.

By attending these meetings on a regular basis, you will come to see parental chemical dependency for what it is and know how that affected you as a child and continues to affect you as an adult. You will learn to keep the focus on yourself in the here and now. You will take responsibility for your own life and supply your own parenting.

You will not do this alone. Look around you and you will see others who know how you feel. We will love and encourage you no matter what. We ask you to accept us just as we accept you. This s a spiritual program based on action coming from love. We are sure that as the love grows inside you, you will see beautiful changes in all you relationship, especially with God, yourself and your parents.

I Can't, We Can

2007-09-09T07:06:00.000-07:00

In Celebrate Recovery we fellowship.

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!... Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves... A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, 12

It was not many years ago that those in recovery were viewed by others as weak, not as courageous individuals seeking help for their life's problems. Some of the early AA meetings were held in church basements, where members would enter by the back door so that no one would see them and identify them as alcoholics. Thank God, those back-door days in the basements are gone. Our recovery program is a safe place, not a dirty secret. It is a regular place where people in recovery can join together, fellowship with one another, and share God's answer on how to overcome their struggles by His power.

You don't have to go it alone. We get there together.

CR Orientation October 13, 1PM

2007-09-08T05:23:00.000-07:00

Join us for an orientation to Celebrate Recovery
October 13, 2007 at 1PM
at Burbank Seventh-day Adventist Church
710 S. Glenoaks Blvd.
Burbank, CA 91502

Learn more about Celebrate Recovery and how you can participate. Lunch will be served. Free childcare available.

Call or email to RSVP: (818)848-7051 or outreach@burbanksda.com