You have a solid relationship with your best friend. You have been friends for years and the relationship has come to mean the world to you. As you experienced life together you learned you could depend on one another. When times were hard, you called on your friend and your friend never failed. It was hard to imagine celebrating any of life's special moments without your friend. Day or night, rain or shine, your friend was there for you.
One random day you did something that hurt your friend. Perhaps it was an oversight -- you weren't really thinking clearly when you made the decision that hurt your friend. Or perhaps you were careless and your judgment was faulty. You didn't intend to hurt your friend, but for a brief moment you risked the relationship and hurt the one that was always by your side in good times and bad.
When you realized that you hurt your best friend you first felt guilty and stupid for endangering such a vital friendship. Although it wasn't easy to admit you were so thoughtless, you gathered your courage, swallowed your pride and prepared to apologize. You stopped by your friend's home, a piece offering in hand, hopeful that the rift between you would be healed soon. As you knocked on the door, you were certain that you would never again make the same bad decision that led to this momemnt.
Your friend answered the door and allowed you enter. You sat in your favorite chair, your friend directly opposite. It almost felt like any other day. But your inner voice told you that it wasn't any other day. You had important business to discuss. You came to the point. "I'm sorry for what I did. I'm not sure why I did it, but I never meant to hurt you. I know I did and for that I am profoundly sorry. I hate that I risked our friendship given all we've been through. This will never happen again. You mean the world to me and I'm sorry. Please... please forgive me."
You looked deeply into the eyes of the person sitting in front of you and you realized that they were hard and cold. Your friend seemed unmoved by your apology. Suddenly the butterflies in your stomach turned to angry wasps. "I'm truly sorry," you offered again. The heavy words seemed to fall leaden to the floor before they reached their intended destination.
Your friend took a deep breath and stared. You felt yourself tearing up depsite your best efforts to hold onto any shred of hope that things would turn out OK. Again, "Please forgive me. I'm really torn up over this. I don't want to lose your friendship. I was careless. I was stupid. Please..." Hot, salty tears fell in your lap. You stared at the widening circles of moisture as if lifting your eyes to again meet your friend's stare was beyond your capacity. You would wait in this position until you heard or sensed some response other than that dreadful, steely gaze.
"I can't forgive you. I won't."
"But... please..."
"There is nothing more to say. Our friendship is over. Please leave."
The voice that meant unmatched comfort for as long as you could remember was flat, emotionless. Your heart breaking; you pretended to compose yourself, swallowed the lump in your throat and fled.
You sat in your car unaware of the passing of time or of your surroundings. You were numb and dazed. An unwelcome thought came to mind and replayed over and over. "I lost my best friend today. I lost my best friend today. I lost my best friend today." You didn't realize that you said the words out loud. Mechanically, you finally turned the key in the ignition and pulled into traffic. You didn't know where you were going and didn't care.
A couple of days ago I thought I had irrevocably damaged my relationship with my best friend. When I apologized for my carelessness, he bristled, all the muscles in his face seemed to turn to cement. His eyes were angry, lips pursed so that even if he wanted to say something it couldn't escape the determination of those tight lips. I went on and on about how I'd make up for my mistake, how I'd do whatever I could to make things the way they were before. He stared straight ahead as if I hadn't said a word. His silence spoke volumes. He didn't forgive me. He didn't forgive me. Perhaps he would change his mind later, but for now our relationship was broken. I was suddenly adrift as if it was our relationship that was tying me to the known world. This new world without his care and concern was unfamiliar and desolate.
Yesterday we repaired the rift between us and I felt light, relieved. The world made sense again and I could be hopeful about whatever life would bring next. Because I had felt the separation between me and my friend so profoundly I spent a moment or two resolving never to make the same mistakes again. But God took this opportunity to remind me that He isn't like my human best friend who wouldn't forgive me for a while. As my Divine Best Friend I can count on Him to forgive me as soon as I ask each and every time.
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 American King James Version
As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12 New American Standard Bible
He promised and He hasn't ever let me down. Thank You, Jesus for forgiving me wihtout fail. Thank You for being my Best Friend. Thank you for the assurance, confidence and hope that comes from your forgiving grace.
