As I grow and learn in recovery, there are a few things I have fine tuned about my understanding of how we work toward realizing the gifts of recovery: serenity, wisdom, divine intuition, freedom, peace, joy.
What I learned in AA: You can’t give away what you don’t have.
What I have come to believe through CR: If you don’t give it away, you can’t have it.
A dear friend of mine came through for me at just the right time last week as I was spinning in a funk of impatience and insecurity. She thinks I did her a favor because she called me and I answered. She asked me to accompany her on an appointment and I did. Because she is a gracious person in recovery she has thanked me for the ride, for my attention, for my friendship. But I know that I got the better end of the deal.
By moving through the unanswered questions I had about what the day would hold and my fears about not being prepared, I moved out of my comfort zone and into a place where God could work. I suppose that if I had felt competent, I wouldn’t have relied on Him the way I did. I wouldn’t have checked in with Him every step along the way. I wouldn’t have been praying for His will to be done, for His words to come through my mouth and His ideas to inspire me. God answered my willingness to help with His patience, His grace, His wisdom. It flowed through me to my friend, through my friend to me and all around us.
If I didn’t show up to give away whatever gifts God has given me, I wouldn’t have been able to manifest them in such a tangible way that day. Although I felt small, our Big God was there to take up where my best ideas left off.
I wonder how many times I’ve wiggled out of the opportunity to be of service to someone and unknowingly wiggled my way out of the blessings God had in store for me. Because our God has endless resources, I know He found another way for the person to get help when I declined, but did I miss out on a miracle?
Dear God,
Thank you for being our Big, Loving God. Thank you for the friendships I’ve formed in recovery – they are some of the best relationships I have and I realize they are a gift from You.
When I have the opportunity to help someone or be of service in some way, please put “yes” in my heart and on my lips. Please help me put aside any feelings I have that keep me from giving away that which You have freely given me. Help me to forget my weaknesses and fear long enough to receive Your empowering Spirit of wisdom, love and patience.
Thank You for those who read this prayer. Please bless them and those around them in such a way that they know You are at work.
We love You and thank You for answering our prayers and being our Best Friend.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
