Praying and Planning: We Need You

Since my last post so many things have changed.

Overwhelmed by the responsibilities of caring for my father and all my other roles, I made a very difficult decision -- I suspended Celebrate Recovery meetings at Burbank SDA Church. After consulting with Pastor Jan, I notified our regular attenders and put a temporary sign on the door. I hated to do it, but it was a decision I felt compelled to make. My father was getting sicker. Indeed, we were told that he was dying and my responsibilities with regard to his care were growing as his condition worsened. All the while, my heart was breaking.

My father died in April.

For months I struggled poorly with my grief often feeling that I was losing the battle. I was afraid that perhaps I would also lose my sobriety, my job and my sanity. God never left me. He comforted my heart and mind in such a personal way that only He can. When exactly one month following his death I cried out for some sort of help from my doctor (the best doctor in America, by the way) she responded in a way that I would never expected.

She looked at me with such compassion in her eyes that I could tell that she had truly heard me and cared about my welfare. She told me a little about her own struggles and then she said that since a month had past it was time to begin to get over losing my father. I was shocked at first, but I kept listening as she kept talking. She told me that she refused to see me overwhelmed by this tragedy and that I had too much to lose to let myself be plowed under by the weight of my grief. She directed me to get myself together and she reminded me that the mind is a powerful force and that I could harness it to my benefit if I chose to do so. She clutched my shoulders when she looked me square in the eye and told me she was sure I could do it -- I could begin to make myself better.

Just remembering how I felt at that moment reminds me of how faithful and kind our Heavenly Father is. He used my doctor to say the words I needed to hear just when I needed to hear them. From that moment, I began to get myself together as the doctor ordered through nearly constant prayer and through rebuilding hope in my life rather than brick by brick, pebble by pebble.

To God's glory I haven't taken a drink or drug since my father's death. I haven't lost my mind or my job. And while I'm busy working and going to school to (finally) finish my bachelor degree online at Chico State as my father requested and redoubling my efforts to be the best wife and mother I can, I am working with Pastor Jan to pray and plan for restarting Celebrate Recovery.

We need you.

Celebrate Recovery is a God-inspired 12 step program for anyone with a hurt, habit or hang up. Based on Christ's own ideas for how to live one day at a time, it requires the service of a team to build and maintain it properly. Pastor Jan and I are asking you to pray with us as we prepare for our planning session.

Please join us on Friday, October 5, at 6:30PM for dinner and a CR planning meeting which will begin at 7PM. At that time we will introduce you to the opportunities to serve people who are hurting and looking for answers. By employing the original plan for CR, we will offer service opportunities based on your available time and talent which require no more than one to three hours per week (and perhaps even less).

Feel free to email or call me for more information. I look forward to seeing you there.

peace&love,
LaViva
outreach@burbanksda.com
818-824-2019

I gave it away.

As I grow and learn in recovery, there are a few things I have fine tuned about my understanding of how we work toward realizing the gifts of recovery: serenity, wisdom, divine intuition, freedom, peace, joy.

What I learned in AA: You can’t give away what you don’t have.

What I have come to believe through CR: If you don’t give it away, you can’t have it.

A dear friend of mine came through for me at just the right time last week as I was spinning in a funk of impatience and insecurity.  She thinks I did her a favor because she called me and I answered. She asked me to accompany her on an appointment and I did. Because she is a gracious person in recovery she has thanked me for the ride, for my attention, for my friendship. But I know that I got the better end of the deal.

By moving through the unanswered questions I had about what the day would hold and my fears about not being prepared, I moved out of my comfort zone and into a place where God could work. I suppose that if I had felt competent, I wouldn’t have relied on Him the way I did. I wouldn’t have checked in with Him every step along the way. I wouldn’t have been praying for His will to be done, for His words to come through my mouth and His ideas to inspire me. God answered my willingness to help with His patience, His grace, His wisdom. It flowed through me to my friend, through my friend to me and all around us.

If I didn’t show up to give away whatever gifts God has given me, I wouldn’t have been able to manifest them in such a tangible way that day. Although I felt small, our Big God was there to take up where my best ideas left off.

I wonder how many times I’ve wiggled out of the opportunity to be of service to someone and unknowingly wiggled my way out of the blessings God had in store for me. Because our God has endless resources, I know He found another way for the person to get help when I declined, but did I miss out on a miracle?

Dear God,

Thank you for being our Big, Loving God. Thank you for the friendships I’ve formed in recovery – they are some of the best relationships I have and I realize they are a gift from You.

When I have the opportunity to help someone or be of service in some way, please put “yes” in my heart and on my lips. Please help me put aside any feelings I have that keep me from giving away that which You have freely given me. Help me to forget my weaknesses and fear long enough to receive Your empowering Spirit of wisdom, love and patience.

Thank You for those who read this prayer. Please bless them and those around them in such a way that they know You are at work.

We love You and thank You for answering our prayers and being our Best Friend.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.