ch-ch-ch-changes

Today God has helped me realize some things I have been struggling with lately.

Struggle One: I don't like how my life has changed lately.
Realization One: God doesn't change.

My relationship with God is unlike any other. I can depend on Him like no other. He is the only constant in an ever changing world.

This morning there was a song running in my head I couldn't stop: Landslide by Stevie Nicks. The particular verse that was on loop was:

well, i've been afraid of changin'
'cause i've built my life around you
but time makes you bolder
even children get older
and i'm getting older too

On Saturdays, more than any other day of the week, I try to keep my mind focused on God.  To celebrate the Sabbath I work harder than usual to drown out mundane worries with spiritual ideas. Obviously, this song is not one being sung to God. So, after I failed in changing over to a gospel song or hymn numerous times, I decided to look at the Landslide song closer so I could come to terms with why it's running non stop in my head.

Clearly the writer isn't talking about being afraid of changes because her life was built around God. One who was inspired by an understanding of our steadfast God wrote: Great is Thy Faithfulness.

great is Thy faithfulness by selah

Great is Thy faithfulness, oh God, my Father,
there is no shadow of turning with Thee.
Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not,
as Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

As a kid I didn't understand what "there is no shadow of turning with Thee" meant. Of course, way back then I didn't understand what "I've built my life around you: meant either. At age 44, I have experienced enough to understand the difference.

Building my life around God, or better yet, on a relationship with God is a safer proposition than depending on nothing to change in human relationships. Human relationships are characterized by change. One way to define God would be to identify the One Who does not change.

If I am building my life around God, why am I so... here's the second struggle.

Struggle Two: I am scared.
Realization Two: I am choosing to be scared.

Something scary happened to me last month. I was laid off from work - again. The director stated that I hadn't done anything wrong. In fact, she said that I made a good contribution and she was sure I would do so again in my next position. But being unemployed scares me. I knew that before today: I get scared because of the uncertainty about when I will get back to work. I become insecure about finances. I grow worried about finding the proper direction for my daily activities. I realized just today that I am also scared because try as I might -- I didn't have control over whether or not I stayed employed. Going to work everyday didn't ensure I would keep my job. Working hard, getting results didn't keep me employed. Making progress on long term goals of the organization didn't do the trick. I was let go despite all these things. That was scary.

So, thank You, God. Today I was reminded that I am not in control. My best efforts may have little to do with the results I get -- I should make my best effort anyway. Most importantly -- if I continue to build my life around God, I don't have to be afraid of ch-ch-ch-changes.